How Do You Still Believe in a Loving God?


Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. ~ C. S. Lewis

I know this is probably going to piss some people off, but I can’t be silent just because it’s the proper thing to do. We are told not to question God, but to blindly accept, by faith, that there is a purpose and reason for this pain.

As someone with a chronic medical condition, it can be daunting at times to have to constantly fight in what seems like a losing battle. It’s very easy to just give up, tag yourself as a ‘sufferer’, and curse God and the fates of giving you this condition. I must confess, that in my deepest pain, I’ve had such moments of angst, depression and anger. The question most often on my mind and I’m sure on a lot of other minds is why?

If there is a purpose for everything, and all things are ordered by God, then what is the purpose of having a being, or group of beings in pain? What is the reason for delegating a group of people to a lifetime of suffering, many who have never done anyone harm? This on the same planet where murderers and rapists are running free with  no painful conditions. Yes, sickle cell is a survival mechanism to protect from malaria, but as a survival mechanism…it’s the pits. Having had malaria several times, I say bring on the Malaria (at least there is a cure!).

Oh, but we aren’t supposed to question God. We are just supposed to believe that all things have a purpose. We are supposed to have faith that ‘all will be well’, and that ‘it came to pass’, and other sayings that in that moment, in the eye of a painful storm, seem like just words that have no bearing or comfort.

I guess it makes some believe more fervently, because there has to be a reason for all this suffering. There has to be something at the other side of final rest, some reason that will make it all worthwhile. But for some of us, it sends me in the opposite direction, because to me a God of love would not want his children in pain for no reason. A loving God, one who is Our Father, should be able to do more than what a human father can do…a mere mortal, who prays that the pain be transferred to him. And since God is All-Powerful, why does God not take the pain away?

So here is my question to the gallery…how do you keep your faith? How do you still believe?


  1. Well, dear warrior, one very important way to reason in this vicious condition we’ve found ourselves is to remember that God did not create us for just here and now. We cannot afford to loose our connection with God on account of ill-health and miss out on eternity. I often ask the same questions too, and cant wait to hear His mind about millions of innocents suferring, when I eventually see Him face to face. Meanwhile, have you thought of babies born blind, crippled or with Down’s syndrome? Let’s keep thanking Him, He only can make it better and at least far in between.

  2. I agree with you Lolade…
    Are you Serious, “Bring on the Malaria”??? Are you sure about that b/c I can live with SCD in MY condition for another 50 years IF that is God’s will. There are 30,000 people that die from Malaria EVERY DAY around the world, I’m positive that they would have rather had SCD, instead of dying within 3 days of finding out that they had Malaria! I am comforted knowing that my Daughter, who will be spending much of her life in the Islands is protected from Malaria.

    Hmmm, How do I still believe? I believe b/c I know that IF it was meant for me to die from SCD, I would have been gone long before getting diagnosed at the age of 17. I still Believe b/c I know that the power of Life and Death is in the Tongue!!! God IS a Loving God b/c he gave me a mothher that was so tender and caring that although I had no professional assistance (hospital care or pain medicines), I was Blessed with a mother that prayed and fasted and who instilled in me the very things that I will instill in my daughter as she goes through this life. Life is sometimes difficult for most of us, even those who aren’t sick or long suffering.
    I am fortunate to live in the U.S where Malaria is not an issue that I should be worried about but I wouldn’t wish Malaria on anyone not even my worse enemy. I don’t get it. I was brought up to not question God(not that I have never done that). There are others that suffer and go through much much worse. Some people don’t live past their teenage years. There are children that lose their battle with all types of conditions such as Cancer. I know that there is a reason for me having SCD. Now, I would’nt trade places with anyone else b/c I wouldn’t know how to live. I know how to live with SCD. For the murderers, rapists and pedophiles out there…they will have to pay in the end.

    Everyday that I wake, I am THANKFUL b/c there are a lot of folks gone that were just here a year ago. My family had to bury My niece’s daughter 1 month before her 3rd birthday b/c she got hit & killed by her daddies best friend! My cousin , after finding her Prince- charming lost him in a plane Crash this very day last year…

    R.I.P Anala DeShura Bell and Mr. Mysela ‘Mike’ Parks, you were definitely taken too soon!!!

  3. Well, thatz something different altogether…but what if you don’t know you have Malaria to get the treatment or if you’re unfortunate enough to not be able to afford the treatment. I don’t know where you’re from to be exposed to it like that but I am sorry that you had to go through it at all. You stated that you knew that you would piss some people off and it is what it is…You’re right, I’ll be the 1st to admit that I don’t know the 1st thing about malaria as far as what happens from point A to point B. All I see is someone sayin ‘Bring it on”, that makes it appear like, you’re shaking your fist at God. Look I just know what I know about the little that I know!!! I know that it kills 30,000 people on a daily basis. I would’nt want it. I don’t want anything b/c I’ve accepted the fact that I have SCD. Thatz the way that My God made me, and I am fine with that. Maybe you’re just another non believer (that’s your business of course) or maybe you’re angry and want to place the blame somewhere. Either way you are going to go through this life the way that you want to and I will continue going through it in my way. I just know that if I did’nt know how to pray and if I did’nt have the faith that there was a God, I don’t know where I would be. Whether you are a believer or not I’ll still keep you in my prayers and I want you to know that I love the fact that you are so passionate about SCD, I have met so many selfish people that don’t care about even themselves. I consider you a Sister Thru Blood! We’ve never met, I don’t know if we’ll ever have that opportunity but I would like to be able to have one on one conversations about other things besides the questions posed on here.

  4. SCW, let me offer my thoughts. I have fibromyalgia, and suffer with pain daily, at varying levels, but go through my moments of a ‘flare up’ that bring me to tears, and I am in bed for days or even a week. I will certainly not compare SCD with FM, all conditions are different, but I know that disease, pain and suffering were not in God’s plan for the world He created. This may sound cliché, but yes, we live in a broken world. A world of sin, hate, disease, death, destruction. A world that may often seem unfair.
    But God made us, and when he did he planted His seed, that seed of hope, of yearning for something greater than ourselves or what the world has to offer us. No matter how we try that seed He planted is the yearning for Him. His ways and His thoughts are higher than ours (the bible tells us that), that means, we cannot understand all things, and everything in our very limited vision. Therefore, we do not understand what may appear to be things which He allows – we do live in a world with forces of darkness, remember that – but His word says He always turns things around for our good – we may not see it now, or 10 years from now, but it will manifest itself.
    I am not preaching, trust me. I faced so many doubts, and been in states of depression, pain, and feeling utterly hopeless and on my own, trying to understand why me, why the suffering. But I can say, without a doubt, if not for Christ saving me, I think I would not be here today, in fact, I am pretty sure of that. When we think all hope is lost, He is there. When we have a load, He carries us.
    Think of your testimony and what it means to others. The hope it offers others. You are actually giving others hope.
    Bottom line, we can’t explain all the things that happen around us, the unfair broken world we live in, we can only keep praying for each other, for our world, and remaining faithful and accept what He had given us, and know as His word says “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (notice it does not say all good things, it says, all things). We thank Him for His saving grace!
    You tell me, what do you have to loose anyway?
    Be blessed always my friend!


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