For some reason, sex was the topic of discussion last week on the Sickle Cell Warriors Facebook Page. The question posted was, “How are you able to have sex with sickle cell, and do you experience crisis or mini-crisis post sex?” This discussion led up up and down many riotous and hilarious paths, but one thing was clear—it is quite possible to have fulfilling sessions in the boudoir without triggering a crisis.
You just have follow a few principles…
1. Hydrate excessively. Sex is a physical activity, and like all physical activities, you will perspire and lose bodily fluids. So drink water before, during, and after without shame. Sure you might have to break to pee, but at least you won’t be in pain after.
2. Pre-medicate. For some, taking Tylenol/Motrin before sex helped to stem the tide of a mini-crisis afterwards.
3. Talk to your partner. Tell your partner that you might have some limitations around sex. Communication is essential and will help your partner be a vanguard of your safety. Tell him/her that you are excited about the boudoir session, but need to protect your health. Many times I’ve wanted to overtax myself, but my husband was the one that put the brakes on and saved me from a crisis. Having a partner in your health is a wonderful thing and should be treasured and nurtured.
4. Listen to your body.You must remember that “Pain is your Body telling you that You Need to Take a Break.” So when you are having sex, if you feel pain, stop. Change positions frequently so that you don’t lose blood flow in any areas. And remember, you don’t have to be going hardcore every single minute. Sometimes, it’s the pauses between sex that elevate your intimacy.
5. Set the environment. Your bedroom shouldn’t be too hot (you will sweat more and dehydrate faster), or too cold (you will vaso-constrict and sickle faster). Choose a decent temperature, that is comfortable for nudity. Men—remember that women have to be romanced in the mind first. Women—remember that men have to be seduced visually first.
6. Frolic with Foreplay. For people with sickle cell, foreplay is your friend. Foreplay gets your partner hot and bothered, and yet, it doesn’t have you over exerting yourself. Don’t rush the foreplay—drag it out, take it slow, and leave your partner simmering and almost about to explode.
7. Be Safe. Safety is key. Have fun, play hard, play safe, use condoms/birth control. Make sure if you do plan to procreate, that your partner has been screened for SC trait. Better safe than sorry.
Chances are, you aren’t going to be able to work your way through the Kama Sutra. You might never even become a Sex Olympian. But you can have amazing sexual experiences in and out of the bedroom without triggering a crisis. You just have to follow these tips and don’t forget to Enjoy Yourself.