On the Sickle cell Ning forum, there is a great discussion about the crazy things that Sickle Cell Warriors say while they are on narcotics. Personally that hasn’t happened to me in a while, but I do remember the days of horrendous hallucinations and crazy conversations. Whoever was at my bedside at the moment bore the brunt of it, and to my sisters, this was just perfect teasing material for later. I rarely remember what I said or when I said it, I’m so far either in pain or out of it, but my sisters still crack jokes on me till this day.
If not for the fact that my family treated it so lightheartedly, I don’t think I would have been able to cope with spewing out secrets, random thoughts and whatever popped into my head while under the influence. I’m sure that some have had to go through periods of shame, embarrassment or insecurity due to this. But you know what? It’s okay!
I’ve said some crazy things on drugs. My man states that he loves grilling me when I’m looped up because then ‘I really get to know what you feel about issues!’ Yep, he does take advantage of my no-filter mode…and since I don’t imbibe alcohol, that’s pretty much the only time you will get me with my guards down.
The most outrageous thing that I said *(which I didn’t remember and deny to this day!), was that I was a hired assassin and killed people with my violin case a la Antonio Banderas in Desperado…lol. I also said I was the Princess of Egypt, and named my seven older brothers in order…threatening that my older brothers were warriors and would come beat up the nurses for causing me pain. (As you can see, I tend to have quite violent hallucinations!)…
Although I do get slightly embarrassed when I’m teased about all the crazy stuff I’ve said, I just roll with it…it’s all part of the experience I guess. I mean, if I let it get to me, then I would become a neurotic mess each time I was faced with the thought of having to take painkillers.