Sickle Cell Warriors


 Breaking News
  • VOICE Crisis Alert App VOICE Crisis Alert App The VOICE Crisis Alert app is the first national app created for patients and families with sickle cell disease. The app stores all its data locally...
  • World Sickle Cell Day 2018 Hello Warrior Family! Don’t forget, today, Tuesday June 19th is World Sickle Cell Day. This was specially designated by the World Health Organization in 2009 to improve the education, research, and...
  • SCD Adult Support Groups in Southern California California Warriors, great news! Cayenne Wellness is now hosting monthly support group meetings in Fresno, San Diego, Los Angles, Loma Linda, and Antelope Valley. You get to meet others with...
  • Tracing sickle cell back to one child, 7,300 years ago Tracing sickle cell back to one child, 7,300 years ago Check out this amazing article by Nalina Eggert of BBC News for a journey of SCD from 7,300 years ago.  The...
  • Meet Brittany: Caregiver, poet, and writer This week’s warrior in the spotlight is Brittany Hightower.  Brittany is a caregiver who is beautiful, intelligent, and passionate about poetry. And oh yeah, she has sickle cell. How old...

Sickle Cell & Pity

Here is a great question at the Sickle Cell Ning Forum.

Why is that when you go into a crisis people tend to give you weird looks and have pity for you? We don’t need pity but support…

I think people offer pity what they do not understand something. Like when a loved one dies, friends go to the family to offer condolences, but really…what do condolences mean? Condolences won’t bring the person back or ease the pain in the heart. But condolences send the message that I do care that you are hurting and that your heart is in pain. Conversely, to me, I don’t see pity as a bad thing, I see it as people telling me that they do care that I am in pain. Plain and simple.

Pain is something that all humans can relate to because everyone has had pain one time or another in their lives. Sure, ours might be more all encompassing, and overwhelming, but pain is a shared human experience.

When people tell me they have diabetes, I don’t give them looks of pity. However, when someone tells me they have an incurable cancer —I pity that. It comes from my interconectivity as a human and my acknowledgment of human frailty. I understand that they are going through a struggle, and I empathize  with them. When I was younger, I used to hide from the pity and kept my sickle cell a secret because I didn’t want pity. However, this just made it harder to deal with, since noone knew what I was going through, and when I needed support—I found it difficult to get any.

The kind of pity I hate the most is self-pity. That is the one that grates on my nerves. I hate to wallow in a ‘woe is me‘ moment. Sure, I have sickle cell..but there are other people in the world going through much worse and are still smiling. I”m alive, I’m surrounded by people that love me, and I’m blessed to have survived so much. 

I feel that with more public knowledge and education, we will be able to have sickle cell viewed as a disease and not as a death sentence.  Perhaps when more people understand sickle cell, they realize that it’s a condition with ups and downs, and when we are down, we do need more support. But at the center of it, we are just human, like everyone else.

So I guess on some level, pity is a weird form of compassion. I would rather have pity than have someone yell at me and call me a drug addict. I’m just saying…pity is the lesser of two evils. 😉

About Author

Sickle Cell Warrior

Sickle Cell Warrior

Tosin is dedicated to perpetuating healthy and positive messages about sickle cell. Although sickle cell is a subject often taboo in the communities this condition is most prevalent, Tosin's message is that sickle cell is not something to be ashamed of and you can live a rich and fulfilling life with sickle cell. Sickle cell warriors are the most amazing people in the world, with a great fortitude for compassion, willpower and strength.

Related Articles


  1. kemi
    kemi June 24, 22:46

    I wish I had more pity my mom only gives me that but my dad yells at me and blames me for having pain.

  2. Agatha
    Agatha July 06, 16:23

    I just wish I could have a little support.

Write a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Support awareness & education for SCD

WordPress › Error

Error! Donation amount must be a numeric value.