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Should I Date Someone with Sickle Cell?

I’ve been getting alot of questions regarding this lately, I guess because it’s the season of love and new relationships. To respond to this question, you have to remember that people with sickle cell are people first. This means that just because we have a chronic medical condition doesn’t mean that we sprout wings and fly around the place. We are not abnormal creatures, we are people, just like you. We have emotions, feelings, dreams, hopes and desires. We want to be in a a good relationship with someone that loves us and treats us well. This applies to every human, and just because we have sickle cell does not exclude one from this paradigm.

I will acknowledge that dating and being in a relationship with someone that has a complex medical condition can be challenging, but it is DOABLE. Many people with sickle cell have the most loving and beautiful relationships that I have ever seen. The greatest advice that I can give you is to educate yourself on sickle cell as much as you can before you tie yourself to a sickle cell warrior. This way, you have a general idea of what you are stepping into before one gets too involved.

In addition, know your phenotype. You can get tested at your doctor’s office, and know what your phenotype is. If you are AA, then you have no chance of passing on the sickle cell disease if you do have a child with someone that has sickle cell disease. Your offspring will have the trait however, and must be properly educated on how to avoid passing the disease on to your grandchildren.

However, if you are AS, then more deliberation is needed. This means that you are a carrier of the trait of sickle cell, and that you have the potential to pass the full blown disease on to your children if you mate with a sickle cell warrior (SS). There is a 50% chance with EVERY pregnancy that you can pass the disease on. So you have to be more cautious, prayerful and knowledgeable about this condition if this is the case.

I know many people with sickle cell that have children that do not have sickle cell disease. And I know many people with sickle cell that have children with sickle cell disease. So the chances can be either way, and if you are serious about being in a relationship with this person, then you have to be aware of the chances.

Another issue is that due to the chronicity of the condition, people with sickle cell do have emotional upheavals. I recently was hospitalized for 9 days, and when I got discharged, I was an emotional wreck, and nothing like myself. It took about 2 weeks to feel emotionally ‘normal’ again, and this has the potential to happen often. There is also an element of depression that might exist, and unexplained anger. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, and not everyone is up to the challenge.

You might have to take on the responsibilities of the household when the sickle cell warrior is ill, and may have to shoulder majority of the burdens at times. You might have to assume the caregiver role, as well as being a bulwark of support and patient advocate. You might have to be the trailblazer searching for new treatment methods, or nagging your loved one to take their meds. You might have to pack an extra sweater just in case, or suffer through heat because your loved one is cold.

I will always maintain that it takes a very special person to be able to love and adore a sickle cell warrior irrespective of that condition. To me, it just means that when you find the right person, nothing can shake that love. And that is really what everyone is searching for.

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Sickle Cell Warrior

Sickle Cell Warrior

Tosin is dedicated to perpetuating healthy and positive messages about sickle cell. Although sickle cell is a subject often taboo in the communities this condition is most prevalent, Tosin's message is that sickle cell is not something to be ashamed of and you can live a rich and fulfilling life with sickle cell. Sickle cell warriors are the most amazing people in the world, with a great fortitude for compassion, willpower and strength.

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55 Comments

  1. Ama
    Ama July 10, 07:14

    Am sickle cell anaemia and also G6PD full defect and have ulcer too its not been easy carrying both effects there are times I feel like giving up because the pains are too much to bare I easily get VOC and severe pains I get treated in the hospital but easily get crisis,being in a relationship hasn’t been easy because guys like my attitude character and beauty but when they find out about my condition then am left alone I decided to study nursing in other to care for people in my condition or other conditions now am a professional nurse but still fighting with issues of severe crisis my family and friends have been great support to me am deciding to upgrade in having a degree in nursing but its not going to be easy combining medical bills to educational bills but with God all things are possible and I encourage you not to give up until the battle is over am going to keep fighting with or without having love I know when the right time comes will get someone who will understand and love me just the way I am .once a warrior always a warrior

  2. Carla
    Carla July 15, 05:32

    I’m also in love with a sickle cell guy and I tell you,our love is not about our health status is all about us.We are looking forward to get married soon and give birth to 8 kids.We know the God we serve would take care of us till we grow old and gray together

  3. Sickle Cell Warrior
    Sickle Cell Warrior Author July 18, 03:28

    @Mila, yes he can. Very much so! The only thing to worry about is that he needs to make sure he is not taking Hydroxyurea at the time of impregnation, because this has been linked to possible fetal abnormalities.

  4. Deba
    Deba July 18, 04:13

    No one will prefer to get marry a scd patient .

  5. Sickle Cell Warrior
    Sickle Cell Warrior Author July 20, 01:57

    @Joe, exactly. We have an amazing love story on the main page (Linda & Steve). Also Nick & Tami’s story too. There are amazing women out there. The person who is right for you will fight for you. Use your sickle cell as a guide to gauge the woman. If she runs, then she is not meant to be yours. Only your true love will stay with you no matter what. You can rest assured that she truly loves you. Best wishes and be well!

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