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Sex with Sickle Cell

How can one have sex without fear of falling ill in between or after?

That’s a great question. I don’t think that you can really get rid of the fear until you have had successful sessions in the boudoir without a crises. It does take a while to find the best routine and regimen that works for you, and it all depends on your partner, and how you articulate your needs and limitations.

The truth of the matter is that you have to listen to what your body is telling you. Chances are, positions that have your knees and joints in odd angles are okay for a few minutes, but anything more than 4-5, and you will be hurting seriously after. You have to find knee friendly positions as your staples, like missionary for the ladies with sickle cell, and doggy style for the guys. You can switch it up and do other positions, but you shouldn’t be trying to work through the Kama Sutra or folding your body up like a pretzel in the name of good sex.

Make sure you are well hydrated before and after engaging in any serious bedplay. Heck, if you take a break between acts, drink some water then too! You are losing water through perspiration and bodily fluids, so replenishing them as soon as possible is essential to preventing a crises.

You know those twinges you get in certain parts of your body when you are engaging in strenuous activity? Do not ignore those twinges during sex. That is your body’s early warning signal telling you that whatever position you are in, or whatever you are doing is way too much for you! Switch it up, take a break, put your legs down and stretch out your limbs.

Ease into it. Sex is exercise, and when you are going to the gym, you always do stretches before you hit the treadmill. Stretching improves the blood flow to your muscles, prevents spasms, cramps, and heats up the body gradually thereby preventing lactic acid buildup in the muscles. Since during the plateau phase of sex (right before orgasm), your muscles automatically tense up, it’s good to have them warm and supple when this occurs.

Oh, and chances are, with sickle cell, you aren’t going to be a Sex Olympian. There will be no 2-3 hour bedroom sessions for you…in fact, you will be lucky if you make it to the 45 minute mark (this includes foreplay), without getting tired and fatigued. Remember, we are naturally anemic, which means that we are biologically at a slight disadvantage to those with normal hemoglobin count.

To overcome this limitation, I would suggest expanding your repertoire to include other things besides coitus. Think feathers, tantra, erotic massages, erotica, light touches, oral, BJs etc. If you get him (or her) riled up enough before penetration, chances are, your significant other won’t even notice that it’s been less than an hour for the whole event.

The hardest part for me was finding a partner that was patient, intelligent and loving enough to have sex with me without inducing a crises. It takes a special person to be able to understand the implications of SCD, and have multiple successful encounters in the bedroom without triggering a crises. Once you are able to do that, then you will have the comfort level to explore the outer realms of your desire, and still contain that SCD beast within.

Good luck!

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Sickle Cell Warrior

Sickle Cell Warrior

Tosin is dedicated to perpetuating healthy and positive messages about sickle cell. Although sickle cell is a subject often taboo in the communities this condition is most prevalent, Tosin’s message is that sickle cell is not something to be ashamed of and you can live a rich and fulfilling life with sickle cell. Sickle cell warriors are the most amazing people in the world, with a great fortitude for compassion, willpower and strength.

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13 Comments

  1. Nutty Jennifer
    Nutty Jennifer February 22, 00:42

    Thank you very much for taking time to answer that question

    Very informative too

  2. Stubborn Diva
    Stubborn Diva February 22, 02:37

    Very informative! it's sad that there is no medical literature that explains this. Many of us have to find out the hard way.

  3. Vixen
    Vixen February 24, 02:37

    Jen~ you're welcome. Thanks for asking a great question!

    SB~There is a huge knowledge gap in the empirical and evidence based literature of sickle cell. Hopefully we can create our own body of knowledge.

  4. Bridgett
    Bridgett July 02, 23:54

    Thatz whatz up…I am so thankful to my hubby b/c he already knows the do’s and dont’s. When we met a almost 10 years ago I knew that there was something special about him. He made sure that I got to my Dr. appt’s on time and when I had crisis he made sure that I was admitted and in my room in comfort before he left. Before me, he didn’t know of anyone that had SCD. Now 10 years and an almost 5 year old little gyrl later, we still gettin it down. I have never had a crisis as a result of sex before but my legs have fallen asleep from being in various positions for too long. He senses when I’m uncomfortable and asks if I want to change it up or if I need a break. I do know a couple of gyrls with SCD who are having a hard time finding a man that is attentive or caring and they just care about gettin the panties and they out. I try to tell them that they deserve better but most of them feel like they have to keep those pieces of meat b/c no one else would want them. I think that self esteem plays a big role on what we accept or put up with when we have SCD. Do you know anyone that feels less than enough b/c they have SCD? If so, send em to me, I would have NO problem letting them know just how special they are. At the beginning of my husband and I’s relationship we were up and down and about to break up. I told him “Baby, IF you are not 100% about being with me then go ahead and go but do know this, you can not come back. My life and time on this earth is too too precious to be wasted or played around with. I don’t do RETURNS.” We’ve been together ever since!!! LOL

  5. irene
    irene September 03, 14:55

    THANK YOU! I feel so much better now that I’ve read your comment.

  6. fred
    fred September 04, 11:24

    @ Stubborn Diva – I know, I found out the hard way, stretched out in an ambulance after some fun. My dad came to visit and promptly told me, ” son whatever you are doing and you start you fell it getting strenuous. Please stop and then take a break” I could not keep a straight face.

  7. atawewe
    atawewe December 20, 11:00

    I find a massage before and after a session does me good..my man does this with style..umm..what fun!

  8. Skinzey
    Skinzey January 04, 16:56

    thanks Bridgette! im 21 and a virgin and all iv been hearing are sob stories about scd and sex.that used to worry me alot but after reading your story i feel a lot better!

  9. Stacy
    Stacy August 14, 08:50

    Your comment.Thank you Bridgett for your wonderful story u’ve shared with us.I have SCD since childhood and am 26 years old.I have never found a man who can love me and take good care of me.I normally pray hard to God that I may find one.I just wish to have my own child.

  10. smarty
    smarty September 05, 05:00

    i am a sickle cell
    ss type. Can i sex
    with other girl.
    will it safe..

  11. Sickle Cell Warrior
    Sickle Cell Warrior Author September 16, 11:25

    Hello Smarty, you can have sex with anyone, as sickle cell is not passed through sex. it is a genetic condition, which means that it is in your DNA from birth. However, make sure you use protection so that you do not get pregnant or get any STDs.

  12. Sickle cell Lover
    Sickle cell Lover March 04, 16:39

    All my life I’ve been in scarring, damaging relationships. Didn’t think I’d ever find the one. I prayed and prayed. Spent lots of lonely days. Nights in. I craved love, romance, and just a partner. Well, the gods recently answered my prayers. Only , I’ve recently come to learn that the man that I prayed for and was granted has full blown sickle cell anemmia. He’s only 25. I’m 26. We recently moved in together. And the more time we spend the more serious I see it as. We dated for a while before moving in and I always wondered why sometimes i wouldn’t hear from him if every time we were together couldn’t have been more perfect. He explained to me his crisis’s and being hospitalized then it all started to make sense. I’ve never loved a man more. And it’s Killing me inside. He says there’s a 17% chance hell make it past 26. I feel like I’m the one who’s dying. When I see him down all I want to do is hug him and tell him things will b fine. But I don’t want to make him more depressed with a pity party. Any suggestions on anything that I can do as his partner to help him live a long healthy happy life?? Please

  13. Stephanie
    Stephanie April 05, 03:04

    Are you a sickle cell warrior based in Nigeria? Are you tired of pains, blood transfusions, drips, analgesic, folic acid and being bedridden for days? Do you want to live a normal life without worrying about the crisis? Call me on 07065791730 and I’ll tell you how I overcame.

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